Sleeping Beauty… Not!

My journey as a new mum now has me riding the slippery sleep slope.

I’m slipping down the sleepless road to madness!

Okay I’m exaggerating, but it sure feels that way sometimes. My son is at that precious Eureka phase- discovering a whole new world around him of tantalising sights, sounds, smells and action. It’s no wonder then that his over-stimulated little body goes into overdrive and can’t calm down.

He fights sleep with all his might. In the battle of mum v/s bub, he wins. Hands down. And also legs up, drooling, screaming, full on meltdown mode.

His newest trick when drop-dead sleepy is to let out the cutest, most heart-stopping gurgle he can muster. He kills it every time. Mum, dad, gran. Reduced to helpless cooing adult fools. We can’t help but gurgle back in response and before we know it, we have him engaged and awake! Bub one, adult none.

Since we weren’t exactly born yesterday, we have tricks of our own. Daddy discovered sticking him in the sun forces him to close his eyes and a few moments later, magic! He’s off to la la land!

Much googly eyed research at ungodly hours has informed me that the first three months are akin to a fourth trimester. Meaning that babies calm down in a womb-like atmosphere. So dark, loud monotonous noises (in-utero, mum’s heart beat, breath sounds, intestine churning,), constant movement and enclosed spaces. The sucking reflex is also very comforting.

When the sleep demon decides to play, I go into multi-handed goddess mode. I snap my son into a sling while jiggling him constantly, shushing until I’m breathless and avoiding any eye contact with the face I could drown in kisses. Since my infant deftly spits out a pacifier but hungrily accepts my finger; I sometimes spend hours with only 9 fingers at my disposal.

I’ve slightly refined my act most recently. Having outsourced the shushing to the vacuum, the fan (Z’s new best friend) or a Spotify play list I am a calmer warrior now. I use my saved breath to jiggle Z to sleep as if he were still encased in my womb while I grooved to head-banging music- which I often did when pregnant.

Wow. I just had a revelation!

When sleep has played hookey too long and Z goes bat-shit crazy, he wants to feed. However, he ends up head-banging into his food source, getting sprayed in the face because I’ve already had my let down reflex and then gets even more frustrated!

I see now where he gets the head-banging from. (Slaps forehead)

I also periodically need to save my boy from his uncoordinated fists which smack into his face when on the slippery sleep road.

I truly feel like I’m losing it some days. Then the little guy turns on his gurgling charm.

Say sleepless what? I lost you at coooo!

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