When you think you’re okay, but you’re really not

When you’re overwhelmed by misery

When only a minute ago you seemed fine


Life appears to be under control

Life smiles down at you and then

Life harshly yanks away your grounding


Then you know its time to stop

Then take a while and let yourself go

Then it’ll slowly make sense


For when you grieve, without a warning

Life grabs the reigns, shakes things up and

Then, all you can do is BE.


A shout-out of love to those in the process of healing from loss. Me too.






Musing in rustic Brussels

Scenes of yellow trees

Changing palettes of colour

Greens take their leave


October blues set in

Summer turns its back

The wind gains courage

My spirits recognize fall


The sun still shone

When you were around

Through heat and pain

We hoped for tomorrow


Little did we know

The seasons tragic plan

You had a calling

To freedom once more


You pulled an autumn

Said goodbye and left

Now comes dreary winter

Maybe the cold will help


Seasons ebb and wane

And so does this life

When one says farewell

Another breath is born


Spring will bring him

Your grandchild, my son

I will teach him

As you did me


Autumn turns to winter

Then surely onto spring

Life is but a circle

Birth and death within


The falling yellow leaves

Winter’s icy blue breeze

Fresh flowers and sun

Life will go on


You are with me

Every step, every misstep

I cherish being loved

And loving in return….



…Je t’aime Dada

-Nicola Coutinho

2nd October 2017, Vilroode, Belgium



Go and flow

I’m going to my home of choice

Yet as I leave my home of birth

I feel a pang of pain

It’s goodbye now, until we meet again
This dichotomy of life

Present at every turn

Transitioning from old to new

Another dawn, a different hue

Change is inspiring and scary

Both exciting and jarring

Motion is but a way of life

We decide if it’s joy or strife
Growing older, parting ways

Leaving known territories

And being on the go

Hey beautiful I say, let it flow!
Nicola Coutinho

The Angels Smiled

Dedicated to the soulmate I found when I was 16. Continents apart then and today, I marvel at “how close despite how far” we are…. 

The angels smiled

Oh yes they did

When to their own

Farewell they bid


His journey set

A task anew

Reformed and invisible

The wings he knew


A tricky job

This cherub had

To find his ward

And make her glad


A wailing babe

Soon was born

All past memories

Erased and gone


Steady he grew

Years flew by

All seemed perfect

Yet somehow dry


Travelling the world

He sought to find

An answer to quiet

His soul and mind

Across mountains

And seas away

He struck gold

One fine summer day


There she was

Her eyes met his

Laughter spilled forth

It was hard to miss


Two hearts destined

To meet again

The past came back

Like refreshing rain


Each recalled

And skipped in delight

Souls searing

With love so bright


Both cherubs

Left their mark

To carry one another

Thru’ light and dark


The angels smiled

At both their own

The wings came back

And halos were worn


We each have our angels

So rich and divine

And you dear friend

You are mine!

-Nicola Coutinho

Do you smell what I smell?

Was my dear nose

Playing tricks on me?

Could it truly be?

I awoke this morning

Senses ablaze and tingling

Oh, I had to sing

Gone was the gray

In came the white

What a lovely sight

All it touched transformed

The magic dust swirled

Out, old autumn twirled

My tongue stuck out

A kid once more

The joy of snow!


All crisp and bright

Washed of old hue

The world is new

My nose was right

Snowy winter is here

With it, holiday cheer

I smell fresh cookies

Warm cakes and pies

In every possible size

Odours of fresh holly

Drown out the food

I’m in tinsel mood

Shimmy down my chimney

St Nicholas hurry please

Don’t bruise your knees

Hey Frosty, come here

Let’s do the Polka

Bring out the Mocha

Let it be Christmas

Before I run wild

With my inner child



My old first love

The rush of anticipation

When you come face to face

With your old first love

 Your hands know precisely

That familiar feel and tingle

Years apart mean nothing

The wind whips your hair

Your legs turn to wings

And you just feel home

Heart pounding you leap

And sink it right in

Sweet joy, oh what bliss!

My return to court

My first love

How I missed my sport

Dear old Basketball 💓

Wait a minute

What were you thinking?


Shaking off the Dust

From dust we come
And unto dust we return
So they say


We are fluid beings
Conceived in, composed of water
Birth, death, later

From love we come
And unto love we return
So say I




Pic: Sulphur Lake at Mount Batur, Bali